Details, details, details...
It seems there's nothing more. There is something strangely soothing about that fact, but also so exasperating, as I seem to enjoy the big esoteric though process so much more. But, the details are what makes meaning, or so it seems right now.
So, we buy rubber matting, bulbs, poster boards, bottles of water and we worry about timing and scale and height and light.
I think that this has officially become WORK, though I'm not entirely sure what that means.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Good Work is Hard Work
Emmy (collaborator extrordanaire) and I had a moment today of stopping, sweating, and saying "This is hard. What we are trying to do here is hard. We're hardly inventing the wheel, but there aren't a lot of blueprints for the work we're trying to do, and that makes it extra hard to get it done and feel confident in the progress.
I imagine that many artists, no matter what they're trying to accomplish, have these moments of self doubt. It is our nature to be in constant states of existential crisis I think. I do, however, wish that we could find ways to nurture ourselves through this part of the work.
Our best approach is to push on, try our best, and make sure to take a dip in the river after a long rehearsal day in 95 degree weather.
I imagine that many artists, no matter what they're trying to accomplish, have these moments of self doubt. It is our nature to be in constant states of existential crisis I think. I do, however, wish that we could find ways to nurture ourselves through this part of the work.
Our best approach is to push on, try our best, and make sure to take a dip in the river after a long rehearsal day in 95 degree weather.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Assistance Please?
Actually, this isn't a call for assistance, because I have some truly amazing people helping, assisting, collaborating and otherwise being supportive to me on my thesis project. I've got around 7-8 people (in addition to Emmy of course) playing major roles in this project right now, which isn't so strange within the worlds of film and theater, but is perhaps less seen among those I lovingly refer to as "the art kid crowd."
These are people whose work is seen in galleries and museums and such. They are known for their individualism and singular work ethic and unique vision... Though plenty of them have artists assistants who do much of their actual grunt work and get no practical credit. Perhaps the film and theater worlds are more pragmatic and democratic in their recognition that there are craftspeople who do much of their "work" for them, and that those people deserve recognition, training and union benefits.
For me, having people helping me with my project who are competent, smart and willing to put in plenty of work on my behalf is daunting, but also forces me to work harder at making my project worthwhile, and at making the process as smooth, equitable and fun as possible.
I wonder what that will mean for my future in "the art world" vs. "the film world" vs. "the theater world." I wonder if it matters.
These are people whose work is seen in galleries and museums and such. They are known for their individualism and singular work ethic and unique vision... Though plenty of them have artists assistants who do much of their actual grunt work and get no practical credit. Perhaps the film and theater worlds are more pragmatic and democratic in their recognition that there are craftspeople who do much of their "work" for them, and that those people deserve recognition, training and union benefits.
For me, having people helping me with my project who are competent, smart and willing to put in plenty of work on my behalf is daunting, but also forces me to work harder at making my project worthwhile, and at making the process as smooth, equitable and fun as possible.
I wonder what that will mean for my future in "the art world" vs. "the film world" vs. "the theater world." I wonder if it matters.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Work Ethics
Today I spent several hours in the recording studio at school creating some very crucial sound for my project with the help of two very smart and competent sound producers. We worked hard and well on about 8 pages of text and 1 song, all of which came out beautifully I think.
I really pride myself on having calm and reasonable shooting/creating schedules, especially when I'm working with other people. I've started to think of this as my work ethic. It isn't that I don't work hard. In fact, I generally spend many hours ahead of my shooting preparing so that I can feel confident and prepared for the work. I then make sure to overbook our time. That is to say, I know that we probably could have done those recordings in fewer hours, or that we could have recorded more, but that would have felt rushed and insane instead of calm and fun.
I feel strongly about this ethic because I think that it respects the people who help me, and it respects my values as a person living in the world.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I don't believe strongly in the work and it making it come out right. I slog away and certainly harbor perfectionist tendencies. I just also believe that good work is as much in the process as in the product.
In fact, I know that in my own work, things that took hours and hours of backbreaking, frightened, upsetting labor don't look or feel as good as things that came through organization, competency, and the ability to create a fun atmosphere for everyone involved. I also know how much I hate working with or for people who don't treat their collaborative work in the same way, even though there are so many people who believe that a beautiful outcome is worth suffering for. Don't artist suffer enough just with self doubt, and brokeness and frustration and fear of not being accepted? If we aren't really enjoying what we do, what the hell is the point?
I really pride myself on having calm and reasonable shooting/creating schedules, especially when I'm working with other people. I've started to think of this as my work ethic. It isn't that I don't work hard. In fact, I generally spend many hours ahead of my shooting preparing so that I can feel confident and prepared for the work. I then make sure to overbook our time. That is to say, I know that we probably could have done those recordings in fewer hours, or that we could have recorded more, but that would have felt rushed and insane instead of calm and fun.
I feel strongly about this ethic because I think that it respects the people who help me, and it respects my values as a person living in the world.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't that I don't believe strongly in the work and it making it come out right. I slog away and certainly harbor perfectionist tendencies. I just also believe that good work is as much in the process as in the product.
In fact, I know that in my own work, things that took hours and hours of backbreaking, frightened, upsetting labor don't look or feel as good as things that came through organization, competency, and the ability to create a fun atmosphere for everyone involved. I also know how much I hate working with or for people who don't treat their collaborative work in the same way, even though there are so many people who believe that a beautiful outcome is worth suffering for. Don't artist suffer enough just with self doubt, and brokeness and frustration and fear of not being accepted? If we aren't really enjoying what we do, what the hell is the point?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Goals for the Weekend...
My hope and dream for this stage of Mary and Sarah and You and Me: Make it fun again!
Lately I've been really bound up with the less fun aspects of trying to make a large scale project happen, but I'm hoping to let go of some of that this weekend by a) seeing my project partner Emmy, who always has such good, fun energy b) finding assistance with some of the technical aspects of the work and most importantly c) finding assistance with the logistical aspects of the work.
It has finally become totally clear to me that I'm working on something akin to a small scale theatrical production which means that I need someone to act as a Production/Stage Manager whose job it is to take the logistics out of my hands. I think I've found that person, pending scheduling issues. If that turns out to be the case, it will become her responsibility to make schedules, attend to budgets, and yell at people who aren't doing their jobs.
Let's all pray to the scheduling gods that this will turn out well.
And let's all pray to the recording studio gods that the audio session that I have scheduled for tomorrow afternoon goes smooth as butter.
Onward!
Lately I've been really bound up with the less fun aspects of trying to make a large scale project happen, but I'm hoping to let go of some of that this weekend by a) seeing my project partner Emmy, who always has such good, fun energy b) finding assistance with some of the technical aspects of the work and most importantly c) finding assistance with the logistical aspects of the work.
It has finally become totally clear to me that I'm working on something akin to a small scale theatrical production which means that I need someone to act as a Production/Stage Manager whose job it is to take the logistics out of my hands. I think I've found that person, pending scheduling issues. If that turns out to be the case, it will become her responsibility to make schedules, attend to budgets, and yell at people who aren't doing their jobs.
Let's all pray to the scheduling gods that this will turn out well.
And let's all pray to the recording studio gods that the audio session that I have scheduled for tomorrow afternoon goes smooth as butter.
Onward!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Crisis Temporarily Averted/Artists are their own worst enemies
I believe that the self doubt was brought about by heat and time crunches and watching other projects go on about me. At first I thought I was jealous of the size/scope/progress of my fellow film students projects, until I realized that it was actually empathy. My friends/colleagues are in exactly the same boat as me: We are young, ambitious, hard working, broke and want to do the best that we can in the best ways that we know how. As a result we cycle through varying cycles of self doubt, fear, shame, exuberance, ego, exhiliration, frustration, etc. Perhaps this is true of anyone excited about their avocation? I would imagine so.
Mostly what seems to be true is the fact that I have made a minor breakthrough with my project, and that it is becoming clearer and more fully fledged all the time. I am also learning, growing, reaping new benefits, and generally coming to appreciate that I'm willing to dedicate all of this time, energy, money and spirit to my work.
Here, in case you are interested, is a little piece of video from the work. It is part of a video installation that will be a section of the final product. It is very rough, and not quite finished, but I'm excited about the looks of it.
Mostly what seems to be true is the fact that I have made a minor breakthrough with my project, and that it is becoming clearer and more fully fledged all the time. I am also learning, growing, reaping new benefits, and generally coming to appreciate that I'm willing to dedicate all of this time, energy, money and spirit to my work.
Here, in case you are interested, is a little piece of video from the work. It is part of a video installation that will be a section of the final product. It is very rough, and not quite finished, but I'm excited about the looks of it.
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