Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Crisis Temporarily Averted/Artists are their own worst enemies

I believe that the self doubt was brought about by heat and time crunches and watching other projects go on about me. At first I thought I was jealous of the size/scope/progress of my fellow film students projects, until I realized that it was actually empathy. My friends/colleagues are in exactly the same boat as me: We are young, ambitious, hard working, broke and want to do the best that we can in the best ways that we know how. As a result we cycle through varying cycles of self doubt, fear, shame, exuberance, ego, exhiliration, frustration, etc. Perhaps this is true of anyone excited about their avocation? I would imagine so.

Mostly what seems to be true is the fact that I have made a minor breakthrough with my project, and that it is becoming clearer and more fully fledged all the time. I am also learning, growing, reaping new benefits, and generally coming to appreciate that I'm willing to dedicate all of this time, energy, money and spirit to my work.

Here, in case you are interested, is a little piece of video from the work. It is part of a video installation that will be a section of the final product. It is very rough, and not quite finished, but I'm excited about the looks of it.

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